Archive for November, 2008

Burke: What is your problem?
Cristina: You know everyone’s back. Everyone’s back except her. And I listen to her. Everyday, about her McLove life, her McDreamy, her McCrap. And the one day, the one day I have a thing she disappears.
Burke: Meredith, this is about Meredith.
Cristina: She doesn’t know yet.
Burke: Meredith?
Cristina: She’s my person.
Burke: Right. And if Meredith doesn’t approve, then what?
Cristina: No, no. This, This is not about getting her approval, its about…
Burke: What?
Cristina: Telling her makes it, makes it… If I murdered someone she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor.
Burke: Okay, now, you’re likening someone here to a corpse. I’m done.
Cristina: She’s my person

~ Drowning on Dry Land, Grey’s Anatomy S03E16

Sigh. I wish my person worked in the same place as I do. It would be easier then to get her to help me drag the corpse around. I miss my person 😛


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My first sick leave

Looking back, the past 1 and a half years, I have been working, rain or shine, in sickness and in health. Why so hardworking, you may ask? Well, because as a house officer with the MOH, you are not entitled to MCs. Any sick leave is subtracted from the precious 10 days leave you get per posting of 4 months duration. Therefore, I’d rather go to work than waste my precious leave calling in sick.

After finally being entitled to MCs since June this year, even when I was semi-sick, I had no idea how to call in sick. Or rather the hassle of getting an MC, calling up the big boss to request a day off just seemed like too much a hassle. So I decided to continue working despite it all.

2 days ago, I started to feel a little under the weather. As any other day, I would just pop 2 pills of Panadol and go to work as usual however come yesterday evening, I felt like a train ran over me. Even after taking the good ol’ Panadol, I still felt sick, and cold. My colleague told me to go and see a doc, at least to verify if i was really sick.

Turned out I was genuinely sick as I recorded 39 degrees on the termometer, which was suprising, coz I hadn’t had high grade fever in ages. I was forced to take blood as the KK doc was worried it could be dengue but I was thinking since it’s only Day 2 of fever, what’s the point of it? Nevertheless, he was so insistent that I had to get my blood taken, so I did, which I so proudly took all by myself. Ok, I’ll admit that I had to have help in tying and releasing the torniquet on my arm.

Anyway, as predicted, my platelets were normal, white cells showed a viral picture, and he gave me an MC for today. Then I had to go through the guilty ordeal of calling my boss to tell her I was too sick to work today. I never liked doing this sort of last minute thingy, and causing her the trouble of finding a replacement for me, but I had no choice. I couldn’t even withstand the coldness of the fan blowing at 1, so I’d figured I wouldn’t be able to last in an OT of which the temperature was set at 18 degrees celcius.

And so I’m officially on my first sick leave…ever…

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Burnt out

I recently joined a new department after ending Paediatrics, and which also marked the end of my housemanship. Nevertheless, instead of the excitement of a slight upgrade in status, I seem to be plagued with a sense of extreme fatigue and occasional disillusionment. This new department is nice, and for once, I do find my work kind of interesting, but I’m the newest fish there, and so it’s back to being the bottom of the food chain again.

The first 2 weeks were extremely stressful, as everything was so new and scary and basically I hate re-settling in a new enviroment for the umpteenth time. I just hate it when someone has “moved my cheese” and I have to find new cheese.

2 days ago, I was nicely scolded and insulted for a good 4 hours in front of an audience for being incompetent, stupid, like a monkey and basically an ass. Well, I did or rather was about to make a minor mistake due to lack of knowledge, but I doubt it was necessary for such a large reaction/punishment/humiliation as I’ve only been 2 weeks old in this new job and I admit I still know nuts and have a lot to learn.

I just want to remind you who enjoyed abusing me verbally and mentally that day, weren’t you new to this many years ago too? Or did you forget that before you could run, you actually crawled, stood and walked first? Did you forget that everyone has to go through a learning curve, before reaching your level of competency and smartness? Or perhaps you needed to put me down in that way, so that you could feel great about yourself? If that is the case, well, I unfortunately have no respect and only have pity for you.


Cindy reminded me that there are people like this everywhere, and that we can never run away from them. We just have to learn to live with them.

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A message from God

I received an sms from a friend today…

“…but let us refuse to be sad and discouraged. Let us ‘consider it pure joy’ (James 1:2), even when we do not feel happiness. Let us rejoice by faith, by firm determination, and by simply regarding it as true, and we will find that God will make it real to us. Put your hope and trust in Him. GBU :)”

I really needed that.

It felt like a message from God.

I will try to ‘consider it pure joy’…

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