About success…

Just watched Fame today at the cinema with my sis. It was a good movie but there were only 5 of us watching the show. I suppose it was not the peak hour for watching movies. Haha. Anyway, I loved this quote that Kay Panabaker gave at the graduation ceremony…

“There are a few things that Success is not…
Success is not fame, money or power
Success is waking up in the morning so excited about what you have to do that you literally FLY out of the door
Success is getting to work with the people you love
Success is finding a way of connecting and binding them together
Success is connecting with the world
Success is falling asleep knowing you did the best you could
Success is joy, friendship and freedom
Success is LOVE”

Looks like I’m still many miles away from success as I am definitely not excited about my daily work and I definitely do not fly out of the door to get to work. In fact, half the time, the alarm clock rings til it’s dead and I still have not managed to drag myself out of bed.

Sigh…

It’s all in the attitude…

Let me say, I was pretty well rested before going to work today.

Yet I lost my cool and scolded a few nurses.

Why? Let’s just say they were downright incompetent. Being incompetent when you’re new is fine and expected. Everyone has gotta start off from scratch. However, if you do not know how to do something, then you should take the initiative to ask and learn. But no, these people are just simply not bothered. Not bothered at all. Worse still, one of them just happily bluffed her way through it and dare to blame other people for her freaking mistakes. Totally no remorse at all.

Come on people. This is not a day at the office. It is other people’s life we’re talking about.

Please, you fellas need to shape up or ship out.

Falling off a bridge

Yesterday, my colleague and I had to anaesthetize a 5 year old kid who had massive bleeding in his head due to falling off a bridge on the way home while walking with his mother. By the time he got to our hospital and to the OT, it was probably a bit too late. This was because the unfortunate accident occured on some remote island which had no operating services so they had to take a boat to get here, thus the delay. Makes me wonder what the helipad in the hospital is for. Anyway, the surgeons proceded to perform the surgery on him because sometimes children do respond quite well despite looking quite the contrary.

After the op we sent the patient to the kids ICU and this morning before leaving work, we went to visit the kid to see how he was doing. I guess it’s still too early to say, as they usually cerebral protect i.e. rest the brain for 24-48 hours before trying to wake the patient up, so I guess there is still some hope. But frankly speaking, it didn’t look too great before and during the op.

Well, on another note, I realised that lack of sleep and perpetually being on call is detrimental to one’s mood. I usually try to keep a professional euthymic mood at work but it has been getting harder to keep it that way recently, especially when I am seriously mentally and physically fatigued. I found myself increasingly irritated with over-demanding patients, lazy colleagues, blur nurses, etc. Suddenly, everything and everyone is irritating. That, my friend, is a sign that one needs to rest, before all hell breaks loose.

Argh. I sure hope we get more staff soon. Can’t wait for the workload to decrease…

The Year 2010

Time sure flies. 2010. When I was little, I figured that by this time we would be flying on hovercrafts and wearing space suits, zipping around the universe or something. What a disappointment that nothing much has changed, and we’re still in cars, and there’s still horrible traffic, and all that. Hah.

Well, now is the time to reflect on the past one year. 2009 was a rather eventful year for me. I finished housemanship by the end of 2008 and then stepped into the crappy world of being a Medical Officer (MO). One would think upgrade is always good but in my case, it wasn’t all that great. The workload did not lessen, however the responsibilities increased exponentially. What more I was in a totally new department and had to learn various skills and knowledge from scratch. It was fun and challenging, not to mention, extremely stressful.

The lessons I’ve learnt in 2008 still applied to 2009. No. 1-5 were from last year. Let me see if I can add anymore to that list…

1. No matter how bad the day/call is, it will eventually be over.

2. When you think that something is already at its worst, it can actually get even worse. (Murphy’s Law)

3. Shit happens and there’s nothing you can do to prevent it.

4. If you work with nice people, having a bad call can actually be fun.

5. There’s always something new to learn everyday.

6. Getting angry at people/patients/colleagues/bosses is a waste of energy. The person at whom you are angry with usually doesn’t even give a damn. So what’s the point.

7. Happiness is a choice. You are responsible for your own happiness and no one else can force you to be unhappy.

8. At the end of the day, what matters most is family and God.

===

Ok, now let’s move on to the next part and reflect on last year’s resolutions…

1. Eat more and put on some weight less the wind blow me away. (Failed)

2. Drink more water and eat more vegetables to avoid constipation. (Semi-achieved)

3. Read the Bible and pray more often. (Failed)

===

And now, let’s recycle the failed resolutions and add a few extra…

New Year Resolutions for 2010

1. Eat more and put on some weight less the wind blow me away.

2. Read the Bible and pray more often.

3. Worry less, and be happy more.

There you go. Short and sweet.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010 to everyone!!

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The true meaning of Christmas…

For the majority of us, when we think of Christmas we think of…

Santa and his elfs
Christmas trees and decorations
Turkey, Puddings and lots of FOOD
Presents
Christmas Sale
All things green and red
Holidays
Snow
Eggnog
Wine and all sort of alcohol
Parties

We rush around getting ready to decorate the house, buy presents for friends and family, prepare the scumptous family meal, go carolling, perhaps attend Christmas mass, and finally end up exhausted, stressed and burnt out after the festivities are over. Sometimes we wonder, why do we even bother?

What we did not realise is that in the midst of all that, we have forgotten overlooked the real meaning of Christmas. Christmas is actually Jesus’ Birthday and a reminder of God’s greatest gift to mankind. It is His unfailing love for us that led Him to allow His Son to be born on earth to save us from our misery/sin/self-destruction and to lead us back to God.

Therefore Christmas should be a time of thanksgiving, a time of fellowship with family and friends, as well as a time to remember God’s love for us. If we have the excess energy to do all the hyped-up commercially advertised activites, fine and good. So long as the essense of Christmas is not lost.

Because Christmas, isn’t Christmas, til it happens in your heart

Christmas is coming…

Since Cyanide got all Christmassy now, I decided to follow suit. Am currently counting the days to going home for Christmas.

Work has been and will always be a chore, so I am definitely looking forward to not working/seeing patients/giving gas/listening to bleeps of the heart for the entire festive season. Pity I won’t be able to take as long a leave as Cindy, but any break is better than none.

I haven’t taken down the Christmas lights from last year, so I will just need to turn them on when the time is right. Even the hospital has put up a Christmas tree. Tis the season to be jolly…falalalalala….

Unfortunately I have to slog through a 30 hour stint at work before going on leave, but I keep telling myself, it will be worth it, I hope

Anyway, wishing a blessed Christmas to everyone!

Are you a real doctor?

I came to work and my colleague told me that there was an Eye case that was not done from the previous day. Apparently this 70-year old lady had left globe rupture some eye injury and needed to have the eye looked at under anaesthesia. The reason her case was postponed was that apparently Orthopaedics the bone doctors were trying to stabilize her condition.

The patient was in the Red Zone (critical area of the Emergency Department) overnight, thus my specialist was suspicious as to why the patient is there as the Eye doctors only mentioned that her eye needs fixing. To cut a long story short, I went down to the Red Zone to have a look at her before calling her case to the Operation Theater (OT).

When I arrived there, I was horrified to find out she had so many other injuries the Eye people failed to mention when they told us about her case. In fact, she had injuries from head to toe. Anyway, seeing that she is obviously not stable and that the eye injury is the least of her problems, she was then sent up to the surgical ward for observation.

Later in the evening, I decided to visit the patient again, as I had to speak to her relatives and explain the high risk of anaesthesia when she goes for surgery due to her multiple injuries. In the ward, her daugther was there, all distraught from the feeble explanations given by the surgical doctors who kept implying that they are only in charge of her stomach region etc.

So when I got my turn to speak, I pulled her aside, explain the graveness of her mother’s situation and all the injuries from head to toe, thus making her condition fragile and high risk during anaesthesia due to obvious reasons. The daughter however, was not the least bit interested in my explanation about the anaesthesia but as usual kept interrupting me and asking me about the eye about the bones about this and that, and I had to gently explain that they are being taken care of my different teams and that they are doing what they can.

The last straw was when she asked me “are you a real doctor?”. I gave her a quizzing look and said, of course I’m a real doctor. She said “are you a training doctor or real doctor?”. That was it, I was slowly losing it. I told her, I am a real doctor, I’m in anaesthesia and I have been working for a couple of years already. However, I am not a specialist. She then asked me if I had qualifications, and I just simply stared at her, lost for words. She said it’s because I look so young. I said I may look young, but I’m not that young. Finally, she said, then looks like I have to trust you. WTH?????

Anyway, finally she signed the consent for anaesthesia, and back I went to the OT, straight to the pantry to get myself a big glass of water and chill as I was already fuming and on the verge of exploding. After all my careful explanation, she thinks I’m a fake?

White Horse

This is probably the first Taylor Swift song I heard on Grey’s Anatomy. Love the tune, background guitar arrangements as well as her voice

Say you’re sorry, that face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you

Holding on, the days dragged on
Stupid girl, I should have known
I should have known

I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairy tale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse,
To come around

Baby I was naive, got lost in your eyes
Never really had a chance
My mistake, I didnt know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand

I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, now I know

I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairy tale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse,
To come around

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I alwyas wanted but I’m so sorry

Cause, I’m not your princess, this ain’t a fairytale
I’m gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now

And it’s too late for you and your white horse
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Oh, whoa whoa whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh it’s too late to catch me now

~ White Horse, by Taylor Swift

Oxymoron

An oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines normally contradictory terms.

Here are a few examples..

Bittersweet

Pretty Ugly

Original Copy

Virtual Reality

Living Dead

Open Secret

Organized Mess

Controlled Chaos

Deafening Silence

Quiet Riot

Was watching a movie with my sis when one of the characters mentioned the word “oxymoron”. Decided to check out what it really meant since I though it was a type of moron. Something like super moron, uber moron or ultra moron. Ok, that was lame. Hah.